#10 Daddy

Pretty much anytime Breana gets into my car she asks me to put on #10. Now let me explain just what #10 is.

#10 is track the 10^th track on Jesus Culture CD titled Come Away…the song…One Thing Remains.

Now a lot of times I don’t complain when Breana requests this song, I absolutely love the song, it speaks to me.

But then there are times when I am like “how many times can one listen to this song”. So one day I asked her why she wanted to listen to the song. She replied “because I love that song”. I asked her why and she said “because I like to sing to Jesus”…I know… I was like aweee too!! But that isn’t the best part.

I asked her why she likes to sing to Jesus…this one blew me away…she said “because Jesus died for me, the least I can do is sing to him”!

I almost ran into the car in front of me!

How is it that a 5 year old can articulate something like this, with confidence and assurance?

She likes to sing the song because of a. she likes the song b. she likes to sing to Jesus c. Jesus died for her the least she could do was to sing to him…every time I think about this I get goose bumps.

Here I am 31 years old and I try to justify why I don’t sing to Jesus because of the day I had, or the situation I am in, but a 5 year old gets it!

Is it because life hasn’t brought her to her knees and showed her that “just singing to Jesus” isn’t a normal reaction?

Maybe.

Is it that she is still innocent and hasn’t been exposed to all the hurt and rejection?

Maybe.

Or is it that we use the aforementioned “reasons” as a scapegoat to skip out on praising our savior because we feel like we aren’t getting anything out of it?

Do we view worship as a service…for us? A way for us to feel good about throwing some songs upward to God?

So back to Breana. While she is singing One Thing Remains, she really…really sings loud on one particular verse:

“Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me”

She has even started to get our 2 year old Jacob to start chiming in at the end…he now sings “on me”.

How awesome?

How innocent?

How beautiful?

Earphones...

Ever notice how many people walk around with earphones in their ears?

If you walk in Starbucks and see someone you know and they have earphones in their ears, how likely are you to walk up to them and start a conversation?

Not likely huh?

Why is that?

Are you trying to be rude? Probably not.

I always wondered about the various reason someone would always have earphones in their ears.

They enjoy music?

Music motivates them?

Don't want to feel alone?

An attempt to soothe the pain?

I'm guilty of this!! Whether it be cutting the grass, or lying in bed, or at the gym, I have earphones in my ears.

Whatever the reason, the earphones in the ears can send a message that we don't want to be bothered. We don't want another person to ask how we are doing so we disconnect and unplug from everything around us.

What happens when we get so used to "tuning out" and don't recognize that people around us are suffering?

The single mom who lives next door,

The kid at school that is constantly bullied,

The girl crying in the bathroom.

We can be so insulated from everyday life even though we are alive and breathing and totally miss out on what is going on around us.

I have been reading this book called "You Were Made to Make a Difference". It is written to teenagers, but it can resignate within adults too.

It talks about how sometimes we wait until we get into high school, or get a car, or land that promotion before we start to even think about making a difference. Not the math type of difference, the make the world right by loving people type of difference.

Or perhaps in my case just being in the right place at the right time in order to make a difference.

It was two weeks ago, I was heading back to the church from lunch when I saw a man sitting next to the stop sign. I looked at the man at the same time he looked at me and we locked eyes for about 1 second. God then spoke "when you get back to work I want you to find that man...and make a difference". So of course I argued with God about how busy I was, and how emails need to be sent, and how I really don't have time right now.

So as I was driving back to find the guy (yes God won the argument...again) I find the guy still sitting by the stop sign. Now I'm like "ok God, You told me to come here, now tell me what to say". I simply asked the guy, whose name was Thomas, if there was anything I could do for him. His response almost floored me. Thomas said he hadn't eaten in 3 days...this is Kenner, LA...people aren't supposed to go 3 days without eating!!

I offered to buy Thomas food and he accepted. At 1st he was hesitant in ordering, but I told him to ordered enough food to last him a day. So as he ate his 1st cheeseburger, I kind of just left him alone...he really looked like he was enjoying it!! But he then asked me the million dollar question...why are you doing this. I told him that I am only doing what God instructed his children to do...love people.

He then told me he had given up on God 3 years ago when he lost his job, house, family, reputation and manhood! He then told me his story...and I listened...with no agenda. After about 45 minutes, I found out he had no place to sleep for the night. I took him to a homeless shelter in the city and asked if I could pray for him right there...he said absolutely. I prayed for him and I haven't seen him since.

Did I make a difference?

Did Thomas decide to start investigate God again, I don't know.

I do know this. God had been showing me how important it is to be aware and live in the now and be ready to give people more than money...be ready to give them Jesus.

So earphones.

Do we walk around with them in our ears, going about our agendas for the day, oblivious to what is happening around us?

God wants to use you and me to give people something more than money...it's the love of Jesus, but are we plugged into and tuned into what is going on around us?

Have you seen any Thomas'?

Do you know any single moms?

Do you know someone who needs a friend?

You can make a difference...right now...in your own way...in your neighborhood, school, or workplace...

Just be willing to take out the earphones.

Looking over my shoulder

For the last couple months I found myself looking over my shoulder at where I used to be. How I used to act. The things I used to say. The way I used to think.

I started thinking to myself…my goodness how far I have come…man I was a miserable person back then. I got so focused on how I used to live I took my eyes off of where I was going and crashed into the guardrails, finding myself in the ditch so to speak.

Needless to say…this isn’t a good place to be.

I puffed my chest out and said to God…I got this, I can take the wheel back for a moment, You have changed me so now I can drive for a little while.

Again, not a good place to be.

So how could this happen? How could so much change take place, but yet I still hit the guardrails and land in the ditch?

One word

Complacent 

I became satisfied for who I was at the moment and stopped allowing God to continue to change me. I thought that I “made it to the next level” in my journey towards Jesus, and became content. I thought that I was allowing God to “daily renew my mind” as Romans 12: 2 calls us to do. I thought I was moving.

A wise man once explained a concept to me.

When you look at the water in a swamp what you normally see is the algae. And why does algae collect? Because the water isn’t moving.

Or is it?

If you were to look closely you can see some breaks in the algae, and you can actually see some movement in the water. But the flow of the water isn’t great enough to flush the algae completely from the swamps.

Sometimes in our lives when we think we are “better” than we were two years ago, we tend to put the present on “cruise control” while we dwell on the past. Now granted, we are probably closer to God than we were two years ago, but that becomes a stumbling block for us, and we subconsciously put life on cruise control.

I have been on cruise control.

Recently we took a vacation where we traveled to Tennessee and Virginia. While on the interstate, I utilized the cruise control on the van. It was convenient. I was able to give my leg a break and kind of stretch out a little, being cautious not to get too comfortable though. While having your vehicle on cruise control can be a good thing, I have found that having your spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental life on cruise control isn’t.

While on cruise control I found conversations turning into debates that I took personally. I found anger creeping its ugly head back into my logic. I found my buttons being pushed all too often, and me reacting out of emotion instead of using the listen, think, and if you have to speak method.

So I ask myself one question.

What led to me being on cruise control?

It’s a question that cuts through all of the layers and penetrates into the very core of who I am.

It’s a question loaded with hurt and pain.

It’s a question I haven’t quite answered yet…

Sand Blast day 3 part 2

Two years ago we started a tradition at Sand Blast that adds meaning, purpose, and a challenge to many of the students.

We started offering to baptize students in the Gulf of Mexico.

It’s a very emotional and celebratory time during Sand Blast, and I really look forward to it.

This year was no different. We went into this year knowing about some students who had expressed interest in getting baptized while at Sand Blast, but we always have more decide to be baptized while at Sand Blast.

So as Sunday afternoon carried on, we had several conversations with several students about what it mean to be baptized, not just here and now, but when we get back home and reality hits us square in the chest.

So after dinner we came together as a family and worshipped. Immediately after worship we headed to the beach. There was not a cloud in the sky. It was about an hour before sunset so the sky was partially blue and partially orange…it was beautiful.

As I walked into the Gulf of Mexico, I did notice on thing…strong south winds, which lead to another thing…

Big waves!!

As I was waiting for the 1^st student to walk towards me to be baptized, this huge wave that stood about as tall as me (5’9”) crashed into me, nearly knocking me to my knees…I was like oh boy!!

So as we are praying for the 1^st student, wave after wave was pounding us, tossing us around like rag dolls.

I remember thinking after the 3^rd student, “man this would be a lot nicer and calmer in the pool”!

But I could hear God saying “no, I want these waves to be a symbol to every student getting baptized here that this is how it’s going to be when they get home, problems and conflict will want to knock them down, but if they rely on Me, I will get them through it”.

I was like wow!!

And one of the best parts was some of our guy students walked out in the Gulf and stood in between us and the waves to serve as a buffer between us and the waves. They didn’t totally eliminate the waves, but their efforts really did help.

This also served as a symbol. God made us to live in community with each other, we can’t live life on our on, we need the community of friend who are by our side when the waves are more than 6 feet high, trying to break them down with us!

After baptisms, we met back in the gathering room and sang 2 celebratory worship songs…I got to play the djembe, it was awesome…I had so much fun playing the djembe, I was like a kid on Christmas!!

But that wasn’t the end of all the live changing awesome stuff God did at Sand Blast, you will have to tune in next time for a Sand Blast finale blog!!

Sand Blast day 3

After spending two days with the high school students while at Sand Blast, I was reminded how much I absolutely love what I do!!

The conversations…watching them worship God…walking with them as they decide to let God change some things in their lives.

Going into a retreat like this, you kind of expect some people to “lean” in this general direction. But to have the majority of the students not just “lean”, but make a conscious, well thought out, God inspired decision to follow Jesus, not just in Florida, but for the rest of the summer…..for the rest of their lives….it gets any pastor excited!!

On day 3 of Sand Blast I saw all of this come full circle. It wasn’t decisions based on emotion. It wasn’t a “spiritual high”. It wasn’t a bunch of teenager just “getting their Jesus on”!!

What they had been hearing in the teachings, in conversations with other students, in conversations with adult leaders, in quiet time where they were seeking God, being still and waiting for Him to speak….was like a spark smoldering on a piece of paper.

It started to slowly burn and catch fire…

In other words, what they knew about being a follower of Jesus in their minds, started to move to their hearts. They knew what the bible has to say about what a follower of Jesus looks and acts like, they were taking the information and letting it infiltrate their hearts.

Sunday started off with early morning worship on the beach, breakfast, free time, lunch, then the afternoon gathering.

The worship was just that…worship, us praising God, relenting control in adoration of Him. It was during this worship God’s Kingdom broke in right there.

Healing.

For about 2 months prior to Sand Blast my right shoulder had been bothering me. The extent of the pain culminated mid-May, around the time of the Student Life picnic…I couldn’t throw a football 2 yards without pain shooting in my shoulder. It was the kind of pain you couldn’t put your finger on. It wasn’t muscular…it was a deep, concerning pain.

There was times when I would worship and raise my right arm and the pain would cause me to put it down after 30 seconds.

So back to worship, Sunday afternoon at Sand Blast.

I was about to teach on how the Kingdom of God is here when we make decisions to love other people, when we come together and worship our creator, when we make a decision to follow Jesus and get baptized in front of our peers….and through healings. Of course I believe that the Kingdom of God is here, but God made it very personal, very surreal that Sunday afternoon.

To this day I can raise my right arm and my shoulder not hurt. I can throw a football the same distance I could before all of the pain. I don’t wake up in the middle of the night anymore because my right arm is numb and my shoulder in pain.

I thank God every day for showing us in the here and now that His Kingdom still reigns! I thank God for His Kingdom breaking in during worship, during the still moments, and in healings.

And that was just the 1^st part of day 3 at Sand Blast….you will have to come back later for what else happened on that Sunday….

Here’s a hint….more of God’s Kingdom breaking in…..

Sand Blast day 2

Saturday started off with some worship early in the morning on the beach…what a good way to start off a morning…the best thing was, it was student lead and student inspired!

After breakfast we had a bunch of free time. Volleyball, hanging out at the pool, swimming in the Gulf (which by the way was beautiful), great conversation, and napping! After lunch we had our afternoon gathering.

I have to admit, I started a bad habit Friday night that lead into Saturday afternoon’s gathering. I would look over my notes for the teaching while we were worshipping.

Sometimes we get so distracted and so enthralled in what is currently facing us we forget that during worship we are supposed to be worshipping our Creator, not thinking about what is for lunch or what we need to finish on our to do list.

But anyway…I was looking over my notes and I can remember the exact song we were singing while I was doing this…”O Happy Day”. I heard God say “what are you doing”? And in all my humbleness and wisdom and practicing James Chapter 3 (taming the tongue), I replied “You are God, you can’t see what I’m doing? I’m looking over my notes”! What a way to talk to a God that gives us unfailing love, grace, and mercy huh?

So I heard Him say “worship me”. It was one of those moments that you don’t question why, you just do…

As I started to worship my Daddy God, I found myself on my knees in full submission to Him. As I continued to worship the feeling I got was like when someone hugs you and doesn’t let go. His presence was so overwhelming all I could do was cry. And it wasn’t like God was trying to smite me or “deal” with me, He was loving me. So there I was, on my face, a big ball of mess!

As we started the last song I heard God tell me “you’re not going to teach”, I was like what? He then told me again “you’re not going to teach, let go of your agenda and let me be God” Normally at this point I would start stating my case and come up with a good argument. But not this time! As the last song started to finish, I got up and asked Chantal is God was telling her she needed to say something to the students. She smiled and shook her head yes, and I told her it was her time.

To be honest, I don’t really remember what she said, I know it was good and it was what God wanted said at that moment. He then told me to tell the students to throw away their agendas that they brought with them on Sand Blast, and allow His agenda to take over…and boy did it.

What happened in the gathering room at Surfside Retreat Center on June 11, 2011 was one that people who went on Sand Blast will never forget…it was a time that the Kingdom of God was felt…it was a time when the rule and reign of God was presence and gentle…it was a time when people made a decision to turn and walk towards Jesus, no matter what happened in the past, no matter how much they felt like they didn’t deserve it, no matter who was next to them…

One thing remains….

Sand Blast day 1

I have to say I love planning and preparing for events in Student Life. But come the day of the event my shalom and patience get stretched to the max! So the week leading up to Sand Blast I gave the adult leaders the authority to hold me accountable to not losing my shalom and patience come the Friday morning we were scheduled to leave for Sand Blast. Well that Friday morning one of the adult leaders saw that some of my shalom was falling off my face, and simply reminded me to breathe.

It was the exact thing I needed to hear!

I took a minute, told myself about 30 times people first, then in my head regrouped and started to see things in a totally new perspective. Isn’t awesome when we allow people to point out things in our lives, then humbly go to God and ask for His help?

So we loaded the trailer and the buses and headed for Panama City Beach, Florida….and the anticipation started.

Do you remember the feeling you used to get on December 23^rd….2 days before Christmas? Remember wondering what gifts you were going to get? If you were going to get that one thing you have been asking for the last 6 months?

I had that feeling on the bus heading to Florida…the anticipation of students standing before God saying “I relent my life, future, dreams, worries….to you…I trust you”!!

We were making good progress until we hit Alabama. Traffic.

I dislike traffic….really, really dislike traffic!

After 25 minutes of stop and go traffic we were crossing the Mobile bay. We stopped for lunch shortly after Mobile Bay at our traditional stop…Wendys, and we were back on the road.

We arrived at Surfside Retreat Center around 4:30pm, unpacked Ms. Pam’s van, the trailer, and the buses like busy little ants and we started to enjoy the beautiful blue water of the Gulf, the view, and the community.

We got settled in, went over a few rules and expectations, ate dinner, then the gathering.

I have to say, it’s been a while since I saw over 50 students so ready to worship our Creator! During worship I could hear God talking to me like never before. I was like He was standing next to me, with his arm around me, directing my every thought and word and move. During the teaching I had stuff in my notes that I wanted to say and I could clearly hear God say skip over that, and move to this. After I was finished the teaching (which by the way was about the Kingdom of God: what it looks like and how it is relevant to us today) we started to worship again. Normally at this point students, student leaders, and adult leaders would start to move to pray for people. But this time nothing!

This was the 1^st of many times during Sand Blast I would have the decision to throw away my agenda and allow God to carry out His agenda. After about 45 seconds (which felt like 10 minutes) I asked God “what are you doing? Don’t You want to move in these students’ lives?” He simply told me to be patient….I was like right!!

He then told me that the students and leaders need to see me move and pray for people 1^st, and then they would follow. And as it turned out, God knew what He was doing, I just had to be obedient and wait on Him.

As it would turn out, there would be a lot of being still, being patient, obeying God, and waiting for Him to move….all of the stuff we love…right?

You will learn more about how all that played out in future blogs!

Expectations...

That is what I asked a group of high school students to define last night at our very 1st roundtable Tuesday.

Its a question I had to ask myself.

What do I expect? From myself? The students? Leaders? Sand Blast? God?

The one expectation I have is relationships. For the students to grow in relationship together, to me, and more importantly to God.

As we started the 1st activity for this summer, I think it may be happening already. Last night some students expressed some huge expectations for themselves.

So expectations...if you dont have some for the summer, I want to encourage you to set some. It could be something as simple as helping out more around the house.

A wise man once told me "failure to plan is planning to fail". If you dont set expectations for the summer then you might look back and say where did the time go?

I will leave you with this. One of my favorite movies is the 1st Transformers movie. When Sam finally sees his car is a robot, the robot transforms back into a car and opens the door, inviting Sam into his story. Sam then looks at Mikalah and says " in 50 years, dont you want to say you had the guts to get in the car"?

In 50 years wouldnt you like to look back and say, "I'm glad I set those expectations. I made some friends I still talk to today, and God met me where I was!!!!

Now that my friends are some pretty cool expectations!!

Living in the now...

Tonight I had the opportunity to watch the kids while Simone was able to get out of the house and enjoy something she likes to do. So as I sat at the dinner table eating with Breana, we had a conversation about trust and lying. I asked her if she knew what trust means. She said of course daddy, it’s when someone believes in someone else….she is growing up too fast by the way. So I explained to her why it is important to always tell the truth, because when you lie all of the time people stop believing in you, they begin to trust you less. So I asked her if she was to break something in the house and we asked what happened if she would tell the truth, she said yes daddy, I don’t want you and mommy and Jacob to not trust me!! Precious!!

Then I had the privilege of playing with Jacob after giving him a bath. We played football, choo choo, cars, and even had time to build something on his little work bench. He then politely requested some milk, and sat down to finish watching Incredibles.  After about 15 minutes he simply walked over to me, pointed to his room, and simply said “book”. So we read “clickity clack”, “Goodnight NOLA”, and “I know an Old Lady”. While reading “I know an Old Lady” he started to bounce his head to the rhythm of the story…and at the end of every line the book says “I don’t know why she swallowed a fly”, he would lift his arms up and shrug his shoulders…I could barely finish the book I was laughing so hard.

After that, I tucked him in his bed and combed his hair with my fingers as he fell asleep. He looked into my eyes and just when it looked like he wanted to say something deep and meaningful, he pointed to his blanket and said “buzz”. I just smiled. He saw me smiling and started to smile too…..it was like our hearts were beating to the rhythm of the same drum.

This led me to a question. Why don’t I do this more often?

Which led to another question. Am I caught up in the hustle and bustle of busyness, or do I take times like this to actually live life?

I have to say I am saddened by my answer.

Then one more question. Do I live my life as a follower of Jesus caught up in the hustle and bustle of busyness, not taking time to live life with people?

Am I just existing?

Do I take time to let people know that I care about them, that they are loved and accepted? I was talking to a good friend at lunch and he said “I’m no pastor, I just care about people”. He knows what it is like to live in the present. He spends time with a guy shoveling dirt, not because he enjoys shoveling dirt, he cares about people. I told my friend he is a pastor, even though it’s not his work title, he cares about people, that’s a pastor!

I realized I need to be living in the present…..

If it takes shoveling dirt to show someone how much I care, then so be it….or simply reading about an old lady who swallowed a fly, and laughing with my son as he shrugs his shoulders!

New tires....

Tuesday I got some new tires for the civic. 3 out of the 4 tires were about 6 years old, and I think the 4^th one was an original tire from when we bought the civic, pretty good tires. So it was some time for some new tires. As I drove home Tuesday evening I paid special attention to how the civic rode, and if the drive was any smoother. The older tires used to make this loud noise when I traveled around 60-65 MPH.

So back to Tuesday afternoon. Once I got on the interstate it was very noticeable the ride was smoother and the tires weren’t making that noise anymore. It was nice that the civic was riding like it used to. It is amazing that something as simple as getting new tires can bring such a smoother and better ride.

I didn’t pay attention or appreciate the new tires again until this afternoon as I drove on the interstate to lunch. I turned off the radio and enjoyed the smoother, quieter ride. I even noticed as I exited the interstate the civic handled the turns a little bit better. I mean who pays attention to their tire while driving down the interstate? Who gets pleasure that their car is riding better as a result of new tires? I mean tires are something we take for granted. Tires aren’t really a big deal…until one is flat, or it blows out, then it is a huge deal.

But we don’t pay attention to the tires is what I am trying to say. Tires aren’t as important as the engine, or the air conditioning, or the air bags…but they are very important to the everyday driving around errands.

So, do you often forget about the “tires” in your life? What is it in your life that you take for granted…until that thing has a flat or blows out? Is it your health? Is it maintaining those boundaries, being able to say no to things? Is it your spiritual life?

Is it time to replace the old “tires”? Is it time to replace old and bad habits? Is it time to finally get rid of stuff that makes a lot of noise in your life?

I’m glad I did. I am enjoyed the quieter smoother ride.

Relationship or Love

Its something how we work as humans. I watched a couple, and by a couple I mean a guy and girl in an apparent dating relationship today as I ate lunch. And I am assuming they were a couple because of their actions. They walked in together, stood by each other in line, were talking and laughing together, you could tell they were not related or just friends.

But as I watched...and it wasnt a creeper type of watching, I was merely observing, something seemed out of place. I could tell the guy cared for her, but I couldnt tell if he loved her. He paid for her meal and all, but it was the little things he did that seemed out of place. He walked in the fast food joint in front of her. He ordered before her. He got his food and drink and napkins and condiments and went sat down without waiting for her.

Their conversation as they ate seemed good, but still there was that one question left in my mind.

Did they love each other? It was obvious they were a couple, but are they in love? I could not tell by thier outward actions towards each other.

Then I was left with another question.

Is that what my marriage to my beautiful wife looks like. Can people tell that we are just merely together, or can they tell that I love my wife as Christ loves the church?

It didnt stop there. That question lead to another question.

Can people tell thay I am madly in love with Jesus, or does it just seem like we are merely together?

I leave you with that to wrestle with, where ever you are in life.

Can people tell that you are in love, or does it merely look like you have a relationship with your significant other, your husband or wife, and with Jesus?

Its a tough question, but it is one worth giving some time and thought to!!

Release Date...

So if you don’t know I am a huge Lecrae fan. Don’t know who Lecrae is? He is a Christian rap artist, but I call him a minister, a teacher, and a pastor because of the messages in his songs. Just some brief history on how I landed on rap music. I grew up listening to rap music, from Beastie Boys, to Run DMC, to MC Hammer, to Tupac and Cash Money records. I have listened to it all! After listening to rap music for more than 20 years, you get accustomed to the hard driving bass and the unmistakable beats. When I was a teenager, I could feel God telling me to listen to different types of music, but I didn’t like any other music, I loved rap. So I tried to listen to Christian rap in the mid and late 90’s and it wasn’t doing it for me. So I continued to listen to the same stuff that talked about drugs, sex, violence, and getting money. Even though those weren’t my values, I listened to it so much, I could feel my soul longing for those things.

So without digressing too much, Lecrae. He wrote a song that is titled “Release Date”. Here are some of the lyrics to “Release Date”.

“ I would live for me, I made myself an alter, I sacrificed myself, for lust I was a martyr. I gave my heart up, now my hearts been changed, made a deep incision, You made a heart exchange. Tore down all my idols, help me fight to live, moment after moment my life is Yours to give. Faithful to forgive, your loves my only hope, without I’m left empty, looking for ways to cope”.

I think it is awesome that Lecrae is obeying the calling God has placed on his life. It is because of positive Men of God like Lecrae, teenagers…and adults, have music they can listen to and be challenged, stretched, edified, and challenged some more. The lyrics above describes the daily battles of living a God-centered lifestyle. We have to daily reject instant gratification, we have to allow God to remove the junk inside of our hearts and begin the healing and renewal process. And then without the love of God, where would we be?

                What do these lyrics mean to you? What kind of “heart surgery” does God need to do in your life? When is the last time you felt the love of God? God never leaves us!

Sometimes all we need to do is simply turn around and look Jesus in the face.

I think He enjoys looking into our faces instead of always looking at the back of our heads!!

What do you think??

Eggs, dye, and baskets

So let me ask you a question. Do you like things that are empty? Don’t you just love it when you are running a little late, not too late, then you glance down at the gas gauge and yes…it’s basically empty? Or how about this one? You been working hard and you reach over and grab your coffee, anticipating that nice sip of joe, only to realize it’s empty. Maybe you go to reach into the pantry to grab your favorite snack, only to see that someone ate it all, and left the empty box in the pantry.

So when you think about Easter, what comes to mind? Little white fuzzy bunnies, Cadbury eggs, pastel colors, and did I mention candy? Is Easter all about getting together with the family and hunting for some eggs? Not that there is anything wrong with any of this, but is this the 1^st things that comes to mind when we think about Easter? Has Easter been watered down to this? Doesn’t this version of Easter seem a bit….empty?

When it comes to Easter, empty is well….a good thing. Let’s think about the empty tomb. The empty tomb matters because it is proof. Proof that Jesus is who He says He is. One of my pet peeves is when someone brags and makes boast about something, and then can’t back it up. We don’t have to worry about that when it comes to Jesus. He told his disciples that he will have to suffer many terrible things and be rejected and killed by the religious people, but in 3 days he will rise from the dead (Mark 8: 31). Jesus not only said these things, but He did them! Now that is backing up what you say!

The empty tomb is powerful. Power that is greater than sin and death. Jesus came to earth and died so that we may have eternal life with Him. He died to restore humanity. He died to show the ultimate unprejudiced love that God has for His creation. For something to live something else has to die. Ate any fruit today? Well that fruit was disconnected from its life source so that it may give you vitamins, minerals, nutrients….life. The empty tomb shows us that Jesus has power over death. He took death’s worse sting and kept moving forward! He gives us life!

The empty tomb is permanent. When people visit Jerusalem, may people visit a site that historians say is the burial place of Jesus. And when tourist look inside the tomb….it’s empty! Jesus wasn’t in the tomb three days after he died…He isn’t in the tomb today…and He never will be again! Jesus’ body wasn’t stolen or placed in the wrong tomb. This isn’t some magic trick, Jesus is alive!!

So when we celebrate Easter with family and friends, let us not forget what we are celebrating. Let’s remember that Jesus took on death face to face and dealt it a huge blow. Let’s remember that Jesus showed us what sacrificial love looks like, and commands us to display this same love to others.

O what a glorious day, what a glorious way….O happy day!!

Happy Easter friends!!

A call worth answering...

So I have started to re-read the book Barbarian Way by Erwin McManus, but in a different light. When I first read the book some 4-5 years ago, I was still a cop. And anytime a cop reads a book about being a barbarian…well you know what happens…and if you don’t, you are about to. I only looked for certain portions of the book that talked about being raw, untamed, and just….well….wild. I was looking for a reason to go against the grain, to hold onto this have to be tough, rugged, and harsh mentality. I wanted to be able to justify “getting in someone’s face” about not putting God as a priority in their lives. I guess there was this “spiritual high” that I wanted to maintain, because it made me feel good. I mean I was a cop, reading a book about being a barbarian was like an adrenaline rush for me. But all that I remembered from the book was the part in the beginning about the movie Brave Heart, because Brave Heart is a manly movie, and a cop can identify with being manly and wanting to save the world!!

But as I read Barbarian Way now, I see that it is more than just living like a crazy lunatic for Jesus. it’s more than just being that dude that is always running around saying “churchy” clichés. It’s more than just being “obnoxious for Jesus”. It’s about going against culture. It’s about following God, knowing you have to die to yourself and sacrifice a whole heck of a lot. It’s about unprejudiced love for people. It’s about looking like a lunatic to the religious who walk around thinking Christianity is about fairy tales and happy endings.

In chapter 2 of Barbarian Way, McManus talks about how John the Baptist was a barbarian. Not because of his choice of clothing (camel skins), not because he ate locust and honey, not because he lived in the wilderness, it’s because he followed the will of God, no matter what. No matter if it called him to be labeled an outcast, no matter if people looked at him funny, no matter if it cost him his life, which it ultimately did…..he did what it took, no matter what, no expectations, no excuses.

So fast forward to the year 2011, we as Americans have the freedom to do, and believe, and become whatever we want. If we want to be a doctor fine, we want to be a Buddhist fine, if we want to live in a townhouse fine. We live in a culture that tells us we have to do unto others before they do unto you. A culture that says, if you’re not 1^st your last. A culture that is me-centered, forget about the nation of Japan who is struggling to just make it day to day, I want more money in my 401K!!

What happened to Jesus’ command to love God with all your might, all your soul, and all your strength, and then love others as yourself? What happened to what followers of Jesus looked like after he went to heaven? When people were in need, they didn’t look to FEMA or to the government, they looked to the church, and not a building neither, but to the people. And how did they know to go to the people, because the people lived as barbarians, living out the will of God in their lives, even though it looked like madness to the religious.

So as I am re-reading Barbarian Way, again I can feel God renovating my heart, because it is all a matter of the heart. When God comes in and begins to renew and restore our hearts, it’s like a bit in the mouth of a horse, where you tug it that huge animal will go. When we live out the will of God and allow him to transform our hearts, where he leads us, we will follow. So I have figured out that I don’t have everything figured out, but I am trying to be more self-aware.

I leave you with an actual quote from the book that I have been chewing on for a while now.

“The Barbarian Way is not about violence fueled by vengeance and hatred. The Barbarian Way is about love expressed through sacrifice and servanthood”.

My hope is that this statement challenges you, just like it is challenging me!!

It's just a rock....

When I was around 10-12 years old, I found a box turtle at my parent’s house. I think my dad actually found it when he was cutting grass. But needless to say we found a box turtle and decided to keep it as a pet. We bought some chicken wire and made a nice size protected area for the box turtle to roam. I would feed the turtle and after some time the turtle would hear my voice and would fully extend itself out of its shell and would let me pet its head and its neck. I think we had the turtle for a couple months when Raphael, that’s what I had decided to name the box turtle, came up missing. We never found him.

A couple of Sundays ago, two to be exact, Breana and I were walking in the parking lot of the church after the 11:15 service. As we were walking to my car, we were talking about what she learned in her class when she kicked something in the parking lot. I caught a glimpse of what she kicked. Breana noticed that I stopped to take a glimpse at what she just kicked and she just assumed it was just a rock, and continued to walk towards the car, not even giving it another thought that it could have been something else. So I picked up this “rock” and showed it to Breana. At first she didn’t comprehend what it was, I mean she was so convinced it was just a rock. But when the “rock” started to move, it was obvious that it was a small turtle. Immediately she felt compassion for the small turtle and asked the million dollar question……daddy can we keep it?

How many times when God tries to speak to us, tries to get us to live outside of the box, tries to get us to move, we assume that it’s just a rock? We are so consumed with the busyness of our schedules, we crave popularity, we long for acceptance, when God breaks in on our busyness we are totally dull to it. God calls us to die to our selfishness, our insecurities, our rejections, and our pride in order to give us life. A life that rebels against the culture, rebels against a me-centered lifestyle, and lives an others-centered lifestyle, a life that the apostles lived in the book of Acts.  

I find myself in that place quite frequently. Where I am so enthralled in the task at hand and God wants to move me, challenge me, and stretch me to perhaps to pay for the person’s coffee behind me at Starbucks, or to simply engage in a conversation with a stranger who looks like they just need someone to listen to them, or maybe it’s when your kids are crying and whining because they are not getting what they want……it’s like walking along a parking lot and being sure you just kicked a rock, not thinking twice that it could have been a living, breathing turtle.  

Back to Breana’s question, daddy can we keep the turtle. We did keep the turtle…Breana named it Yertle…Yertle the turtle. We’ve had it for two weeks now. But I think the best part of having Yertle is Breana is active in taking care of him. She is always wanting to feed him and see what he is doing. The cutest part is she prays for Yertle every night before she goes to bed.

Breana told me that she is going to pay more attention while walking in the parking, just in case she kicks another turtle….

I hope I can pay closer attention also….and not assume that it’s just a rock!!

New Journey

This past Wednesday, I embarked down the road of my latest journey….that’s becoming healthier. It was strange the way I was finally pushed down this road. Early Wednesday morning, around 4:30, Breana woke us up saying she threw up in her bed. Well while Simone was tending to her, Jacob woke up. He was adamant in not going back to sleep. So around 5:15, I could hear this voice that I have learned to listen to and trust, telling me it was time I started to lose some weight. Without arguing, I began to pack a bag and headed to the gym. Once I got to the gym, I glanced at the time and asked myself “why are you here”? It wasn’t a question that would lead to me talking myself…yes that sounds strange, bare with me…out of going to the gym, it was a self awareness question. In other words what are my motives for finally getting my ole busted self to the gym, why now?

Lately I have felt my body change a little. I know my metabolism is supposed to be slowing down the older I get, but for the last 2 months my metabolism has done the opposite. I have more energy, my mind is sharper, and my strength is like it was 5 years ago. So with all of the physical changes, I believe it was time for me to take advantage, I mean who knows how long this is going to last. So normally the day after I return to the gym from a lengthy sabbatical, during my work out I feel sluggish and rusty. Wednesday it felt like I hadn’t missed a day. I warmed up on the stationary bike for 10 minutes, did my cardio workout on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, and then did 100 sit ups and 50 leg lifts!! I was like where in the heck did all this energy come from?

So Thursday morning when I woke up to go to the gym for day 2, I was expecting reality to hit me like a ton of bricks…..nope, same results, same energy. Now don’t get me wrong, my body was sore, but nothing like I expected. I have the strength and energy to push through the soreness and get the task done. I haven’t felt like this in years!! My long range goal is to lose 20 pounds by the 2^nd week of June. My immediate goals are to lose 2 pounds a week.

So to answer my question to myself “why am I here”, why am I now finally at the gym with the intentions of losing weight? What will be different about me sticking to this goal? To tell you the truth it’s a combination of things. With my body feeling good, and my mind sharper, my motivation comes from my brother, who has battled his weight and now looks like a beast!! He is a living testimony that if you put your mind to something and stay dedicated and disciplined, you can accomplish your goals. He now weighs under 200 pounds for the 1^st time in like 15 years, and I’m proud of him!!

So now my journey begins, I hope in 6-8 months I too can blog saying I weigh less than 200 pounds for the 1^st time in 10 years.

Join me in this journey, leave words of encouragement, give me your inspirational story, and challenge me to continue pushing forward with my goals!

Engage 2011 Part 3

There is something special when another human being tells you that you are doing a good job. I mean they are just words, but they go a lot further than just our ears, they travel to our hearts!! We experienced this Monday night while at Engage….but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Monday morning was just about as beautiful as you can get when it came to the temperature and cloud cover. If I remember correctly, when I walked out of the cabin around 7am Monday morning, the temperature was around 39 degrees. I mean absolutely beautiful!! Before we all gathered to eat breakfast some of the guys decided to get in a quick game of football. The guys quickly found out that I was quicker, could catch the football, and could also throw the football way better than they assumed I could.

After breakfast we got a kickball game together where it was the boys against the girls. Needless to say the boys pulled out a close…..yeah right….victory. During which, Julian managed to kick the ball into Michele Martinez’s head….only Julian could pull off something like this!! After kickball we got another games of football on, which was very fun and exposed my lack of agility. We then ate lunch and had some free time.

During free time some people choose to swim while others choose to walk like 5 miles around the entire state park. I choose to walk the 5 miles and look at the scenery. I enjoyed the conversation of the students along with being in the presence of God while admiring nature.

There was dinner and then God started moving. Right before we ended worship on Monday night, Ana told me she felt like God was saying he wanted to heal some people right then and there. It was the confirmation I had been looking for. I did a brief teaching on community and how we need each other. How we don’t have to fight this fight by ourselves. But that wasn’t the best part.

Everybody wrote their names on a slip of paper then placed that slip of paper in a hat. Then we passed around the hat again and picked names. The name you picked you had to write a letter of encouragement or what you see God doing in that person’s life.  Everyone was given 30 minutes to write their letters. Then we met back up in the cabin and exchanged letters. Besides the birth of my two kids, this was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. The community that I had just told them about was thrown through the window, they were genuinely loving on each other….it was amazing!!!

Afterwards we worshipped and God began to heal people just like he wanted to. Students were praying for each other, challenging each other, encouraging each other….again, beautiful!!!!

Some students came to Engage with a bunch of hurts, scars, and excess baggage that God wanted to take from them.

Some came with their own agenda’s, to get away from all the drama, problems, and stress of everyday ordinary life, but ultimately God’s plan for these students broke in on the here and now.

Some students left Engage free…closer to each other….and closer to God, which was the reason and goal for Engage. Engage was an awesome retreat, but just as God could be felt in Hattiesburg, MS, he can be felt while in the classroom, or workplace.  We must strive to make sure that God is in the correct place in our lives, and that is at the center, with everything, every hobby, every concern, revolving around him.

Community, God's presence, football, kickball, 5 mile walks.....now I call that living in the here and now!!

Engage 2011 part 2

I ask myself all the time, why do I find myself calling out to God when it is a convenient time or situation. Why do I sometimes find myself calling out to God only when I feel I need Him the most. Then I find myself saying, wouldn’t it be easier if God was an active part of my live everyday life? If I was dwelling in God’s presence every minute of every day, when I’m at work, or at home with my wife and kids, or hanging out with some friends at a Hornets game, wouldn’t that be easier, wouldn’t that make more sense? Instead of throwing up a desperate prayer to God, then feeling guilty after, knowing I should be making Him the center of my life. Instead of having a God box and a work box and a friends box and a hobbies box….you get the picture….we have one box, where God is the center and everything in our lives revolve around Him.

This is what Chantal talked about last Sunday night while at Engage. About how we limit God and do we believe that miracles can happen today. She then challenged the students to stop talking about how the world needs to change, and start changing the world….Love God, love others!!! She talked about how God is still moving and speaking, but we have to be ready to move and listen.  She talked about how we need to be ready to tell people why and how we love and follow Jesus. How we may be the only representative of Jesus some people may encounter, and we have to be ready.

A lot in a 15-20 minute gathering….isn’t it? These are issue we will struggle with for the rest of our lives!! But the way Chantal made these issues practical and tangible, I think is what stuck to the students. It wasn’t communicated in a condemning way, she didn’t talk down to the students, she was trying to figure this deal out and process it with them. It’s like we were a part of her message. We felt that she too is figuring this out and at the same time challenging us to figure it out with her. We were invited into a journey with her. Now if you have heard Chantal teach, the girl can teach!! But on this night, she wasn’t teaching, it was a personal story, it was real, it was from the heart.

Some people that night made a choice. They weren’t going to limit God to a box. They were going to let Him permeate their everyday ordinary lives. It was awesome to see the student make this decision!! It lead to awesome small group discussion, which was initiated by the students, which set the bar for all day on Monday.

Man the stories about what happened on Monday……….

That’s for another blog!!!

Engage 2011 part 1

This past Sunday, we had the privilege of taking some mind blowing adult leaders and some awesome students to Paul B Johnson State Park, which is around 10 miles south of Hattiesburg, MS, for our 1^st ever spring retreat called Engage. The purpose of the retreat was for students to “disconnect” from their everyday lives, and engage God and each other, returning home refreshed and refocused.

Planning for an event of this nature takes approximately 6-8 months. So we started planning for Engage in early August 2010. At first it was difficult to find a place for us to “retreat” to. Then we stumbled upon Paul B Johnson State Park. It was a good location because it was a 2 hour ride from church, and plus it’s the woods….the woods are awesome!! So needless to say a lot of planning went into Engage, but it all slapped us in the face the week leading up to Engage. That’s normally when things hit you in the face, weddings and graduations to name a few. So as we worked like busy little ants, I was amazed that I hadn’t lost my “shalom” yet.

So as Sunday March 6^th rolled around, we were ready. We loaded up the school bus we normally use for all events, and met in the youth room for a “rundown” of Engage. Just looking at the students all in one place, I knew God wanted to do some amazing things. So we spelled out some brief rules and expectations and before long we were on our way to Engage.

While traveling north on interstate 59, we ran into our first snafu. The lovely Ms. Pam’s van tire blew out. So we turn the school bus around to see what we could do for Ms. Pam. As we were driving towards her I was thinking “great, our very 1^st Engage and this is how it’s going to start”!! I could hear my wife's, Simone, words ringing in my head…Grant you are so pessimistic!!! Maybe it was God convicting me….who knows!! But I made a decision, this is not going to set the tone for this retreat. This will not be the “staple” of this trip!! So we arrived, changed her flat, and we were back on the road in about 20-30 minutes. I could feel God while changing Ms. Pam’s tire….He was with us….because He isn’t some “thing” on a list, He is a life that we live!!

So we finally get to the park and I mean the view from the cabins were beautiful…they were right next to a lake. We unload the bus, get in our cabins, and wait for dinner.

After dinner was the gathering, good worship lead by Emily Martinez, then a good message by Chantal Trosclair……..

But that’s for another blog!!!!

A check list or a way of life?

Priorities…

As many of you may know, the other night we had to bring Breana to Children’s Hospital because she was running a 103.9 fever and her pulse rate was close to 140 beats per minute.

As Simone talked the aftercare hours nurse, I was checking her temperature and pulse again. I already had a settled that if Breana’s temperature reached a certain degree, we were taking her to the hospital despite what the Doctors said. That number was 103.5. Well needless to say when I took that thermometer out of her mouth and it was 103.9, I didn’t have to think to hard or too long, we were taking her to the hospital.

So I scrambled to my phone to call my mom and let her know we were going to bring Jacob over for her to watch and why. As my brain was working and processing all the different things that were going on, we were already in the van dropping off Jacob. At that point all I was concerned with was getting my daughter who was suffering to the hospital in a quick and safe manner.

I remember driving the van and all the thoughts were racing through my mind. What is wrong with Breana? Man what if her temperature spikes even higher, are we ready to deal with whatever the hospital finds? What if the hospital says she has some incurable illness, how will we deal with that?

I remember pulling up and dropping Breana and Simone off at the entrance of Children’s Hospital then parking the van. We sat in the ER waiting room for what seemed like hours. As the minutes passed I found myself focusing on one thing and one thing only….Breana’s well-being.

All the problems and deadlines and situations from the day stood still as I gazed at my daughter lying in the arms of Simone, in a very still, very motionless state. All I cared about was getting the best treatment, if that was even necessary, for our daughter.

But as I sit now and reflect on that, I also find myself falling back and reflecting on my relationship with God. Do I view God as just a priority? Is God 1^st on some list, and if I don’t spend a certain amount of time studying and serving and talking and praying to God….is He not a priority in my life?

I had an awesome conversation about this very subject with a friend a couple weeks ago. For all my life I had to put God as #1 on my list of priorities and make sure that I had my quiet time with Him and read my Bible and did my devotionals. And if I didn’t accomplish all those things every single day, at a moment’s notice God could, if He chooses, to smite me.

I find myself moving from a priority list, to a life style where God is at the center, the core of my life. He is not just some item on the top of a list; He is intricately woven in my everyday ordinary life. I feel just as connected to God when I am playing with my kids and having a conversation with friends as I am when I am reading and study and preparing for a weekend message.

So is God a priority in my life? Absolutely…but He also gave me a beautiful family, awesome friends, a love for football, and a BBQ pit, which I love grilling on!! I think….now continue to follow me here…I think that when God is the center of our lives and we don’t stick Him in a box under the bed, we don’t have to worry about prioritizing God, we are living out of the life that Jesus displayed for us when He walked this great earth.

So when we were in the ER waiting room, isn’t it possible that at that very moment we were spending time with Jesus. We were concerned and caring for our daughter, a daughter that God Himself gave us and entrusted us to rise up and be a follower of Jesus?

I do believe so….I could feel His presence, in the midst of my concerns and crazy thoughts of what could be doing this to my daughter, I could hear Him saying, I am with you Grant, do you trust me? And when I said yes Lord, I trust you, even at this moment….I believe Jesus was at the center of my life, He was no longer some item on a list…..

Priorities…..

Rocky Part 2

So for the last two months, God has been working on in my heart, and I have been questioning why I do and act certain ways. One of the things He has pointed out to me was the need to be more self-aware. You talk about a knockout punch….that means I will have to list all the things I struggle with, write them down on paper….and face them!! Face a life time of doing things a certain way, let God deal and heal those things….then changing??

And to top it off, one of the messages that I was preparing for the students had to deal with being self-aware. So I was surrounded by it. I felt like I was going to be smothered…..like the air was just escaping from my lungs. I was like anything but this God!! But it was necessary. I could hear Him saying, Grant you have come a long way, but you can’t stay where you are….you have to move!! You have to continue to grow and learn.

So I began to prepare for this message, and I re-visited the book, Practicing Greatness, by Reggie Mc Neal. As I read the pages on the chapter titled “being self-aware”, I could feel God saying, let me heal you of some things. He then began to point out things in my life, through reading Practicing Greatness, which needed to be addressed.

Ever had anyone poke a muscle that was sore? That’s what it felt like when God was pointing these “character flaws” out in my life.  

Needless to say, when I finally let God “weed the garden” so to speak, I began to feel some hurts begin to heal. The issues I have with commitments and me taking them personal were being healed. Now just like it takes a broken bone a few months to heal, I am still allowing God to heal these areas of my life.

As God continues to show me the “weeds” that need to be pulled in my life, the more I figure out I need to rely on Him for strength, comfort, and wisdom. Just like when Paully tells Rocky to get rid of all the “stuff in the basement”, God is telling me to let Him clean out the basement of my heart, to allow Him to get rid of the excess baggage, hurt, and pain.

So I live my life out as a passionate follower of Jesus, not knowing all the answers, totally relying on Him to sustain me. Reminding myself every day that the Jesus I passionately follow should not be compartmentalized in one area of my life, but rather should rule and reign in EVERY aspect of my life.

That my friends is me making a conscious decision of getting off of the bench, and getting involved in the game……being active in the story that God is writing with me!!

Rocky part 1

I have to admit…..one of my favorite movies right now is the last Rocky movie, titled Rocky Balboa. You can call me shallow, weird, whatever, but this movie has everything. It shows a once famous, wealthy, Italian Stallone trying to deal with life in the best way he knows how. In the beginning of the movie we see that his wife, Adrian, who was his rock, has passed away. Yeah he still has ole “mentally irregular” Pauly still around, but he still feels like there is something he needs. Well if you have seen the movie, you know how the movie goes. If you have not seen the movie, I will not spoil it for you!!

There is this one particular part in the movie towards the end when he is fighting the Champ at the time, Mason Dixon.  It’s the 12^th round, and man he takes a shot from Dixon. As he feels his beaten up, bloody, bruised body falling, uncontrollably to the mat, he is able to drop to one knee and stabilize himself with his hand. He then has a conversation with himself

“What was it you said to the kid? It’s not how hard you can hit, but it’s how hard you can get hit…..and keep moving forward….how much you can take…and …keep…moving…forward.”

If you watch this part of the movie and you feel absolutely nothing, go ahead and place your right index and middle finger on the inside of your left wrist and check your pulse!!!

Now even though this is just a movie…..it’s more than that to me. I love the Rocky movies. They are very inspiring to me.

But I am able to identify with Rocky. This is how I apply this particular part of the movie to my life.  It’s not about how much you say you love and trust Jesus, it’s in those times when it feels like He is in another galaxy that you find out how much you truly love and trust Jesus.

There were many times, most recently around lunch time today, when I felt like there was about to be a TKO. But as I reflect on today’s events I can see that the peace of God was in the midst of my “turmoil”.

I’m taking about the hits that life throws at me, and I have no choice but to rely on the strength, mercy, and peace of God, and make a choice to trust in God, and to keep moving forward.

When your life feels like it’s in the 12th round and you are gasping for air….it hurts to breathe, then life throws a right cross and connects it to your chin……where’s your shalom!!

Is it knocked out for the count?

Does the ref hold up the “opponent’s” hands in victory?

Or are you able to trust in God and allow Him to give you the strength to get up, even though it hurts, look at the opponent like you are saying “that’s’ all you got”, and keep moving forward?

Without God as the center of my life….I am nothing, nothing more than a TKO!!!

Oh, but there is more to this than just movies, trust, and moving forward…….